MerryGoRounds: An Old Standard in Torture

Like the slide, my dearest Baby Soldiers, do not be fooled by the music and bright colors of the latest in Parental Torture Devices (PTD).

The first PTD Merry Go Round or "Carousel" dates back to the Byzantine Empire around 500 AD which depicts riders in baskets suspended from a central pole. A little bit of research on Wikipedia opens my eyes to the true depth of the PTD. Parents have been torturing children for centuries.

The time has come for change. Stand up little Soldiers! We must fight back with all our might. I will send for you when I have more specific plans on Operation STOP (Start Tormenting Our Parents). Stay tuned, and be on the lookout for anything with suspiciously happy music.